Friday, September 24, 2010

The Skinny Dieters

This is for all those tormented skinny people out there.
May I explain...
As many of you may know I have been on the famous weight watchers diet since March, and I have managed to lose 16lbs, which after my weigh in tomorrow may be down to only 13 lbs, due to my past month of stress, bordem and just plain giving up hope to ever lose weight. This has been a long journey for me.
I started out very strong as many do, with some support and fellow weight watchers dieters on the same journey. I was working out hard and reached a goal in exercise that I have had for a long while which was to be able to run 3 miles straight. I was very proud and as the pounds came off slowly I was happy and trying to not get discouraged by how slow it was going. I love my husband to death but working out is in no way 'his thing,' and so he had a rough time showing his support through working out with me. So this was an obstacle, but that's not where most the tormenting comes in.
As I started my journey I wanted to tell others to get support and be held accountable. Well I got a little less than support. I don't want to totally forget about the very few that did support me and tell me I could do it and it was ok, "Thank you." But the ones that were discouraging in ways I'm not sure they knew, outweighed the good.
"You are already skinny," "you don't need to lose weight," "You have to understand that when you are already skinny you wont lost the weight as fast as others," "If you lose weight, you will disappear," "A size 4 is way too skinny," "You are beautiful the way you are," "You don't have to worry about losing weight," "Bryan, like's the way you look, right, so why change," " You can't just stop eating all good food, you have to still enjoy life and eat something," etc...
Does anyone know what I mean? I think people say these things to make me feel better, but PEOPLE, I NEED YOU TO SUPPORT ME IN THE WEIGHT LOSS, NOT THE UNHEALTHY LIFE IM LIVING NOW BY THE WAY I EAT, WHICH IS WHAT YOU ARE DOING BY SAYING I SHOULDNT BE ON A DIET. Im not going to be anorexic or extemely under a healthy weight, Yes I want to lose weight, so that I don't get to a point where some people are. The point where you feel you have no more hope to ever lose it. I know I am beautiful, but I will still be beautiful when I tone up, lose weight, and have a healthier body. But I want to lose weight the healthy way, through good eating and exercising. Why can't I at least get support in the way that I'm trying to do it?
I truly believe that it is hard for people who need to lose around 100lbs or more to lose all that weight, and it can seem so overwhelming. But you have so much support out there and you can do it, you just need to start moving and start changing.
But I think it is so much harder for those somewhat skinny people out there that are not extremely overweight but need to lose 30 lbs or less. It's hard to find support, b/c we have so many people that think we look fine bc they see us as having a 'healthy weight."
I'm not happy with how my body looks. And so what if I'm older now and I'm not as active, I still have a right to look good in a bathing suit and love my body.
I need support. I have given up so much at this over and over again and only gotten bigger due to it, b/c I don't have someone telling me I support you in this and going along with me in the journey. I need someone to tell me that it's ok to want to lose weight and your goal weight is still a great healthy weight.
I guess I need to start a skinny people diet club. It's seems they are all over in Hollywood, guess I could move there. Anyhow, I hope someone out there knows how I am feeling. My journey is long from over and I'm in a rut. I don't want to have to defend myself every time I order a healthier meal, turn down a snack packed with sugar, orjsut flat out say I'm on a diet.

P.S. I'm on my journey in weight watchers again and back to working out. One day at a time, right.